Men are good at communicating with silence.
Withdrawing is used to communicate needs, and then the response is not what we wanted. The easy part is getting angry. The hard part is sitting back, identifying needs… and then clearly asking for what we want.
We can continue to think no one understands, or we can learn to form relationships where we feel heard.
The Power of Assertion?
Gorillas are intimidating… they beat their chest, and they hoot; they are massive animals. Hermit crabs are nearly opposite. They carry a shell with them everywhere they go and hide in it when they feel remotely threatened.
What do gorillas and hermit crabs have to do with assertion?
In today’s world, masculinity feels like it is under attack. Being aggressive and angry is considered toxic. And crying is ok… just not too much. Beating our chests is frowned upon. Hiding in a shell is a lonely existence.
So, what’s the solution?
It is not hooting, and it is not carrying a shell everywhere to hide. It is creating healthy confidence, standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others.
Assertiveness is being direct and honest with a calm, civil demeanor. It is not making people read your mind. If something is bothering you, speak up. If you need something, ask.
The Purpose of this Website
Buying a new flat screen TV is overwhelming. A quick online search for best TV models provides about eight different brands, 10+ different sizes, multiple screen types… and then each brand has more models then is worth the time to count.
But… when buying a TV, we think about the size of our room, if having the latest and greatest is important; will we be watching TV as well as playing video games or even connecting a laptop. Once you answer these questions, you make a choice.
Just as there are 100s (1,000s?) of TVs, not all of them are what you want… there is just one that fits your needs.
This Website exists to give you all the ‘specs’ of what I offer. So, you know if it fits your needs and you want to call to set up an initial consult.
Don’t Get Stuck Spinning Your Tires – Shift into 1st Gear
and Get Started
Look around the Website, and you will get to know what services are offered, what my style is, and who I am. A common objection to starting therapy is: How can I trust this therapist? I offer three solutions to this problem:
- First solution: I spent a lot of time on this Website to make sure it provides a clear picture of who I can typically help.
- Second solution: I offer a no-cost initial 15-minute phone consult during which we discuss your needs.
- Third solution: I work a bit differently during our session. I use two tools – one at the beginning of our session and one at the end. These are brief (they take less than one minute to take and score) but extremely powerful tools. These tools will answer the questions: Is therapy working for you and are we a good fit.
Meet John Syc
The Strongest Social Worker
I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve been in and out of the weight room for over 20 years. 300 lbs. yesterday is 300 lbs. today… there is a consistency that I find stabilizing. I also match my mental strength with my physical strength. There have been therapists I’ve worked with that held the mirror up to me, and I found a truth I did not know existed
Welcome out of the cave, my friend. It’s a bit colder out here, but the stars are just beautiful. Plato
I approach your therapy in the same manner – I maintain my mental and physical strength so that I can be strong in my work with you. I firmly believe in finding a clear and objective understanding of our life in an analytical and logical manner.
Our lives do not keep the same ‘weight’ today as it was yesterday; there will be good and bad, and all that we can control is our approach. I work with a pragmatic view that we must experience and process the range of emotions we have as humans. Do we strive for happiness? Sure, we do; can we expect it day in and day out, no.
Just as we get burned when we touch a hot iron, the body is telling us to watch out for hot things and that you have an injury you need to tend to. That’s why we need the range of emotions, our brain is telling us we need to learn something, and we need to tend to them.
Emotions are not facts; they are a response to our beliefs and thoughts which then influence how we act. By taking an open and honest look at who we are and what our thoughts are telling us, we can then choose how we want to respond.
What Now?
If you are ready for an initial consult, call today. If you need more information,
browse the pages on this Website and call when ready.
There are a few ways to reach me:
about where to start, feel free to reach out. I’m willing to spend the 15 minutes
helping you make some of these decisions.